Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Acid is not a monday night drug
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
