I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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