Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
