Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
