I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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