i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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