she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
