Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
