Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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