I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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