yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We are all done wearing pants today
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
