when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
