Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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