i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize