about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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