my soul wont recognize me after tonight
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
