im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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