Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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