I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
