i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
