you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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