you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
