Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
