I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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