There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I believe in your delicious
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
