yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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