Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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