I just saw a hot homeless man
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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