He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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