You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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