Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
