Your face is a jimmy john
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
