Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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