Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Who died my cat blue again?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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