Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
