the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
