oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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