You can't special order awesome
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
