So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
