btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
