I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
