If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
