Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
