You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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