i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
