you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
