Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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