We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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