Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
