I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
