When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
