Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
