oh god the rape fog is back!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
